Dear Friends,

Welcome to the October issue of the Pregnancy Pipeline. I hope you’re enjoying this August in October weather we’re having here in Central Virginia. I’m going to keep it short and sweet. This month’s opening birth story is a wonderful example of how birth does not necessarily go the way we think it will, but can still be an amazing experience. Kudos to Kathryn G and her family for their wonderful ability to move quickly and decisively when her labor went faster than anticipated. The Prenatal Article discusses the use of pregnancy as an awareness practice, while our Postnatal Article deals with Separation Anxiety. Check out the Nutrition Tip for a great lentil dish that I hope will become a favorite for your family as it has for mine. Please visit Shop OmMama section for a constantly updated selection of books, DVD’s, music, and other products to enhance your pregnancy and early parenting experience. Any purchases you make through this link help us offset the cost of maintaining and updating the website, so we can provide you with the best Richmond has to offer it’s new and expecting parents.

Finally, I’ve had a lot of neat videos come across my desktop this month, and wanted to share a few of my favorites with you. The first is a wonderful video of a woman giving birth in a very relaxed and joyous manner. You can see the baby’s head crowning and rotating, something we’ve been talking about in several of the prenatal classes recently. More than that, it’s an amazing expression of love:

http://www.themidwife.net/index_files/Page340.htm

The second is a video, produced by UNICEF, that documents the newborn’s ability to initiate breastfeeding on its own by crawling up the mother’s belly. The accompanying website has lots of interesting information about breastfeeding and its impact on health in the developing world:

http://breastcrawl.org/breastcrawl1.wmv

And finally, here’s another helpful video about breastfeeding that describes proper latch-on:

http://www.ameda.com/breastpumping/videos/popup_video.aspx?id=LatchOn

That’s it for October. Wishing you lots of light and laughter in your life.

Namaste,

Leslie

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Recent Arrivals!

Congratulations to:

• Kathryn G and son Roman
• Susan E and son Slater MacIntyre
• Jennifer J, daughter Olivia and son Liam
• Shelbi T and daughter Arden Marie
• Jennifer A and daughter Lillian Grace

Submit your birth announcements and stories on ommama.com!

What's New

• Conscious Birthing Couples Class October 13
• Itsy Bitsy Yoga starts October 17
• Nutrition for Pregnancy and Postpartum October 17, 6:45 pm
  We have a few spaces available in the Nutrition Q and A offered by Registered Dietician Tina Shiver for the Healthy Mamas Team participants. The talk will take place at Tina’s office in the Willow Lawn area. Fee is $10 for non - Healthy Mamas participants. Registration is available for the first 10 people who request it by emailing info@ommama.com with Nutrition Talk in the subject line. More information on Tina’s practice can be found at www.tinashiver.com.

• Relaxation for Labor and Birth November 10
• Getting Your Groove Back: A Core Strengthening Workshop November 10

Birth Story

Roman William

Hi Leslie,

Roman William arrived 5 days after his due date on July 1st at 7:35 a.m. His birth story is crazy and best told in an email that my husband sent to our friends shortly after his arrival.

Read Full Birth Story

Prenatal Article

Pregnancy as Wisdom Practice
By Leslie Lytle

“Nine months making
the pulse and tissue of love
work knowledge upon us;
the hard squeeze against bone
makes radical trial
of love’s primal claim:
here in the body truth grows palpable.”

Lisel Mueller

Getting pregnant is like taking a crash course in change. Beginning with the invisible but powerful hormonal surges of the first trimester, to the blossoming body of the second trimester, to the up and down energy of the third trimester, your body, psyche, spirit, and relationships all go through significant transformation. The speed and intensity of these shifts can make you feel unstable, as if there is nothing firm to hold onto.

Opening to what is
In yoga, as in many contemplative traditions, we practice being present with our actual experience in the moment. Because our perception of change is so heightened during pregnancy, yoga and pregnancy make excellent companions. The constant flux of pregnancy serves to heighten one’s ability to pay attention to the moment at hand. By consciously drawing your attention to what is happening right now, whether that experience be the texture of your breath, the fluttering movement in your womb, or the exquisite joy and pain that accompanies birth, your monkey mind begins to settle down and your intuitive wisdom begins to emerge. You gradually become more present, more anchored, more skillful at riding the waves of your experience rather than spending energy resisting it.

Relinquishing control
This practice of consciously being present in the moment, of opening to what is actually happening in our experience, is one of the most powerful skills we can develop in preparation for birth and parenting. Birth is a transformative process that requires of us the willingness to open our bodies and minds to the unknown. In my experience, there is usually a moment during labor when a woman has to relinquish control of how she thinks she should be in order to become the woman she is now is. In my experience these are some of the most beautiful moments in birth. You can almost see women transform into goddesses before your eyes, as they let go of the confines of individual personality and begin to move with archetypal energy. A consistent yoga (or meditation, or prayer, or movement) practice can facilitate this transformation, by helping us to become more sensitive to and aligned with the life force moving through us

Staying present
The ability to be fully present can be especially helpful when birth does not go as we had hoped for, or in the early days of new parenthood when our newborn’s needs for nurturance and our own need for sleep collide. Perhaps you hope to birth without medical interventions, but at some point during your labor, things shift and you end up with a cesarean birth. Or you come home expecting euphoria because you had such a great birth experience, only to find yourself struggling with fatigue and weariness. Again, bringing our attention to the bare bones of just what is happening in the moment can be both our guide and our salvation: just this breath, just this contraction, just these tears, just this baby crying right now. Drawing our attention into this moment, and accepting it unconditionally, helps us avoid the process of spinning out on fears about what has not yet happened (I can’t go on like this, I won’t be able to keep this up, etc.). We can then begin to respond to our situation from our wisdom rather reacting to it from our habitual patterning.

Pregnancy as practice
So think of your pregnancy as a wisdom practice: an opportunity to listen, stretch, grow, and settle down a little bit more deeply within yourself. Treat yourself with the same loving kindness you might offer your child. As you become more familiar with the changing terrain of your pregnant heart and mind, you’ll enhance and strengthen your capacity for working with the inevitable challenges that life with the newest member of your family will offer you.

Postnatal Article

Separation Anxiety
By Elizabeth Pantley, Author of Gentle Baby Care

My baby is only happy when I’m within arm’s reach. If I dare to leave the room, she cries as if I’ve left the country! I can’t even so much as take a shower these days, let alone leave the house without her. My mother-in-law says it’s because I’ve spoiled her. Is she right? Have I made her so clingy?

Nothing you’ve done has “made” your baby develop separation anxiety. It’s a perfectly normal and important developmental adaptation. Nearly all children experience separation anxiety between the ages of seven and 18 months. Some have more intense reactions than others, and for some, the stage lasts longer than others, but almost all babies have it to some degree.

The development of separation anxiety demonstrates that your baby has formed a healthy, loving attachment to you. It is a beautiful sign that your baby associates pleasure, comfort, and security with your presence. It also indicates that your baby is developing intellectually (in other words, she’s smart!) She has learned that she can have an effect on her world when she makes her needs known, and she doesn’t have to passively accept a situation that makes her uncomfortable. She doesn’t know enough about the world yet to understand that when you leave her you’ll always come back. She also realizes that she is safest, happiest, and best cared for by you, so her reluctance to part makes perfect sense — especially when viewed from a survival standpoint. Put another way: You are her source of nourishment, both physical and emotional; therefore, her attachment to you is her means of survival, and when she reaches a certain level of intellectual maturity, she realizes this.

This stage, like so many others in childhood, will pass. In time, your baby will learn that she can separate from you, that you will return, and that everything will be okay between those two points in time. Much of this learning is based on trust, which, just as for every human being young or old, takes time to build.

How do I know if my baby has separation anxiety?
Separation anxiety is pretty easy to spot, and you’re probably reading this section because you’ve identified it in your baby. The following are behaviors typically demonstrated by a baby with normal separation anxiety:

• Clinginess
• Crying when a parent is out of sight
• Strong preference for only one parent
• Fear of strangers
• Waking at night crying for a parent
• Easily comforted in a parent’s embrace

How you can help your baby with separation anxiety:

• Allow your baby to be a baby. It’s perfectly okay — even wonderful — for your baby to be so attached to you and for her to desire your constant companionship. Congratulations, Mommy or Daddy: It’s evidence that the bond you’ve worked so hard to create is holding. So politely ignore those who tell you otherwise.
• Don’t worry about spoiling her with your love, since quite the opposite will happen. The more that you meet her attachment needs during babyhood, the more confident and secure she will grow up to be.
• Minimize separations when possible. It’s perfectly acceptable for now — better, in fact — to avoid those situations that would have you separate from your baby. All too soon, your baby will move past this phase and on to the next developmental milestone.
• Give your baby lessons in object permanence. As your baby learns that things continue to exist even when she can’t see them, she’ll feel better about letting you out of her sight. Games like peek-a-boo and hide-and-seek will help her understand this phenomenon.
• Practice with quick, safe separations. Throughout the day, create situations of brief separation. When you go into another room, whistle, sing, or talk to your baby so she knows you’re still there, even though she can’t see you.
• Don’t sneak away when you have to leave her. It may seem easier than dealing with a tearful goodbye, but it will just cause her constant worry that you’re going to disappear without warning at any given moment. The result? Even more clinginess, and diminished trust in your relationship.
• Tell your baby what to expect. If you are going to the store and leaving her at home with Grandma, explain where you are going and tell her when you’ll be back. Eventually, she’ll come to understand your explanations.
• Don’t rush the parting, but don’t prolong it, either. Give your baby ample time to process your leave-taking, but don’t drag it out and make it more painful for both of you.
• Express a positive attitude when leaving her. If you’re off to work, or an evening out, leave with a smile. Your baby will absorb your emotions, so if you’re nervous about leaving her, she’ll be nervous as well. Your confidence will help alleviate her fears.
• Leave your baby with familiar people. If you must leave your baby with a new caregiver, try to arrange a few visits when you’ll all be together before you leave the two of them alone for the first time.
• Invite distractions. If you’re leaving your baby with a caregiver or relative, encourage that person to get your baby involved with playtime as you leave. Say a quick good-bye and let your baby be distracted by an interesting activity.
• Allow your baby the separation that she initiates. If she crawls off to another room, don’t rush after her. Listen and peek, of course, to make sure that she’s safe, but let her know it’s fine for her to go off exploring on her own.
• Encourage her relationship with a special toy, if she seems to have one. These are called transitional objects or lovies. They can be a comfort to her when she’s separated from you. Many babies adopt blankets or soft toys as loveys, holding them to ease any pain of separation. The lovey becomes a friend and represents security in the face of change.
• Don’t take it personally. Many babies go through a stage of attaching themselves to one parent or the other. The other parent, as well as grandparents, siblings and friends can find this difficult to accept, but try to reassure them that it’s just a temporary and normal phase of development and with a little time and gentle patience it will pass.

This article is an excerpt from Gentle Baby Care by Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)

Prenatal & Postnatal Resources

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