Congratulations to all of our students who gave birth since our last newsletter! The past month sprouted an amazing crop of birth stories, delivered to OmMama via email and in person. Two of our prenatal students dropped by the classes last week to tell their stories, one just barely twenty-four hours after the birth of her child. You will find a diversity of experience in these stories. The common denominator in all of them is that breath awareness and conscious relaxation positively contributed to their childbirth experience no matter what path was taken.

Also in this month’s newsletter, Maura Varley provides helpful tips for expecting Dads, while Elizabeth Pantley provides suggestions for dealing with unsolicited advice. This month’s Ask the Teacher column provides tips for working with sacroiliac discomfort.

We would also like to encourage you to take a look around Childbirth Connection’s website. This organization, founded in 1918, provides information for both pregnant women and health care providers about best practices in maternity care. Check out their pregnancy topics link to find tips and tools for choosing a caregiver, the benefits of labor support, dealing with labor pain, preventing pelvic floor dysfunction, and much more.

Let us know if there are any topics you’d like us to cover in future issues of the newsletter. We wish you a joyous and fulfilling journey into parenthood.

Namaste,

Leslie Lytle

If for any reason you do not wish to receive this newsletter monthly, please follow the unsubscribe link at the bottom of this email.

Recent Arrivals!

Congratulations to:

• Melanie S. and son, Myles
• Deanne W. and daughter, Ella
• Beth G. and son, Samuel Oscar
• Sarah P. and son, Joseph Anthony
• Natalia B. and daughter, Gracen
• Shannon J. and daughter, Anna Mackenzie
• Heather H. and son, Brody

Submit your birth announcements and stories on ommama.com!

What's New

Class Updates

• Itsy Bitsy® Yoga: July 11- August 8
  We have only three spots left in each of the Itsy Bitsy Yoga classes. Beat the summer heat while you learn to bond with your baby. To register call 359-9642.
• Guided Relaxation and Visualization: July 14
• Getting your Groove Back: July 14
• Conscious Birthing: July 28 (this class will not be offered again until October 13)

Birth Story

Samuel Oscar

Hi Leslie,

The wait is over! We have a baby boy, Samuel Oscar G., weighing in at 8 pounds, 7 and 1/2 ounces, and 21 inches long.

Last Friday morning at 2:40 I woke up to the real thing. My labour had started. These contractions were similar to Braxton-Hicks, but with the added feeling like my bladder had to be emptied and everything between my eyelashes and toes needed to curl!

Read Full Birth Story

Prenatal Article

Top Ten Delivery Secrets Experienced Doulas Share with Expectant Fathers
By Maura Varley, MSW, MPH FCC

1. Be an advocate for your partner. Attend childbirth classes, attend as many prenatal appointments as possible, and help co-author the birth plan. Dads who are intimately aware of Mom's desires regarding birth are wonderful support partners.
2. Make sure mom eats prior to heading to the hospital (she will receive NO food in the hospital). Encourage her to eat small meals preferably something with protein for energy. NOTE: moms should avoid dairy and spicy foods while in labor; these foods often have a way of returning (if you know what I mean).
3. Be a guardian of your hospital environment. Labor and delivery units are often full of energy and noise. Dads should take charge of creating a "birthing ambience" in the hospital room. Dim the lights, set up soft soothing music and make sure the door to the room is shut at all times. Sometimes distracted staff can accidentally leave the door of the room open allowing noise from the nurse's station, other birthing women, or baby cries to affect mom's birthing experience.
4. Encourage moms to change positions in labor every 20-30 minutes. Once mom gets comfortable in labor, baby gets comfortable; we want the baby out, not comfortable. Changes in mom's position help shift the pelvis, thus allowing the baby the space he/she needs to move through the birth canal.
5. Take care of yourself so that you can take care of mom in labor. Bring food and drink for energy and/or take a quick stretch break if necessary during the labor to clear your head.
6. Record the experience. Write brief notes during labor, i.e. when did her water break, what positions seemed to work best for labor, when did she begin to push and for how long, etc. These written notes will assist in the development of your child's birth story.
7. Develop a tough skin. Women in labor are "refreshingly honest". You may think you are the most sensitive, supportive partner ever when you begin massaging her feet in labor only to find that she recoils from your touch. Women in labor don't always want to be touched. This recoil should not be interpreted as, "I hate you don't touch me". Instead you need to recognize as a support partner that women in labor do not have the energy for normal pleasantries such as, "thank you so much for massaging my feet honey, but it does not feel as good as I had hoped could you please get me ice chips instead." They may only be able to grunt, "Stop that!" A tough skin will help you not take these little scenarios personally.
8. Be your partner's biggest cheerleader. Saying, "I am so proud of you, you are having our baby, it looks like you are doing some very difficult work and I am so thankful for you, etc. . . . "
9. Recognize that transition is a challenging part of labor. Transition is the shortest and most difficult stage of labor. It is not uncommon for un-medicated women to feel overwhelmed, fearful, and hopeless during transition. It is very difficult for partners to see the person they love most in the world experiencing significant discomfort. They often want to fix the situation (possibly by administering the epidural anesthesia without the aid of an anesthesiologist :-)). Partners need to know that these feelings and experiences are normal and do not need to be fixed.
10. Hire a Doula! A doula will help provide physical and emotional assistance during labor and will be part of your care team by advocating for you both during the process. An experienced doula does not get interfere with your relationship, but will help bring you together as you experience the birth of your baby.

Maura Varley offers childbirth education classes in Richmond, Virginia through Birth, Bonding, and Beyond. Visit her website at www.birthbondingbeyond.com.

Postnatal Article

Handling Unwanted Advice
By Elizabeth Pantley, Author of Gentle Baby Care

“Help! I’m getting so frustrated with the endless stream of advice I get from my mother-in-law and brother! No matter what I do, I’m doing it wrong. I love them both, but how do I get them to stop dispensing all this unwanted advice?”

Just as your baby is an important part of your life, he is also important to others. People who care about your baby are bonded to you and your child in a special way that invites their counsel. Knowing this may give you a reason to handle the interference gently, in a way that leaves everyone’s feelings intact.

Regardless of the advice, it is your baby, and in the end, you will raise your child the way that you think best. So it’s rarely worth creating a war over a well-meaning person’s comments. You can respond to unwanted advice in a variety of ways:

Listen first

It’s natural to be defensive if you feel that someone is judging you; but chances are you are not being criticized; rather, the other person is sharing what they feel to be valuable insight. Try to listen - you may just learn something valuable.

Disregard

If you know that there is no convincing the other person to change her mind, simply smile, nod, and make a non-committal response, such as, “Interesting!” Then go about your own business...your way.

Agree

You might find one part of the advice that you agree with. If you can, provide wholehearted agreement on that topic.

Pick your battles

If your mother-in-law insists that Baby wear a hat on your walk to the park, go ahead and pop one on his head. This won’t have any long-term effects except that of placating her. However, don’t capitulate on issues that are important to you or the health or well-being of your child.

Steer clear of the topic

If your brother is pressuring you to let your baby cry to sleep, but you would never do that, then don’t complain to him about your baby getting you up five times the night before. If he brings up the topic, then distraction is definitely in order, such as, “Would you like a cup of coffee?”

Educate yourself

Knowledge is power; protect yourself and your sanity by reading up on your parenting choices. Rely on the confidence that you are doing your best for your baby.

Educate the other person

If your “teacher” is imparting information that you know to be outdated or wrong, share what you’ve learned on the topic. You may be able to open the other person’s mind. Refer to a study, book, or report that you have read.

Quote a doctor

Many people accept a point of view if a professional has validated it. If your own pediatrician agrees with your position, say, “My doctor said to wait until she’s at least six months before starting solids.” If your own doctor doesn’t back your view on that issue, then refer to another doctor - perhaps the author of a baby care book.

Be vague

You can avoid confrontation with an elusive response. For example, if your sister asks if you’ve started potty training yet (but you are many months away from even starting the process), you can answer with, “We’re moving in that direction.”

Ask for advice!

Your friendly counselor is possibly an expert on a few issues that you can agree on. Search out these points and invite guidance. She’ll be happy that she is helping you, and you’ll be happy you have a way to avoid a showdown about topics that you don’t agree on.

Memorize a standard response

Here’s a comment that can be said in response to almost any piece of advice: “This may not be the right way for you, but it’s the right way for me.”

Be honest

Try being honest about your feelings. Pick a time free of distractions and choose your words carefully, such as, “I know how much you love Harry, and I’m glad you spend so much time with him. I know you think you’re helping me when you give me advice about this, but I’m comfortable with my own approach, and I’d really appreciate if you’d understand that.”

Find a mediator

If the situation is putting a strain on your relationship with the advice-giver, you may want to ask another person to step in for you.

Search out like-minded friends

Join a support group or on-line club with people who share your parenting philosophies. Talking with others who are raising their babies in a way that is similar to your own can give you the strength to face people who don’t understand your viewpoints.

This article is an excerpt from Gentle Baby Care by Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)

Ask the Teachers

Q: I have been experiencing SI joint pain since early in my pregnancy. Do you have any suggestions to help relieve the pressure I feel?

— Rosa R.

A: SI or sacro-iliac joint discomfort is common in pregnancy. The sacro-iliac joints are located in lower back, just above the buttocks, where the posterior joints of the pelvis meet the triangle-shaped sacrum. During pregnancy, the hormones relaxin and progesterone soften the ligaments that support the SI joints so that the pelvis can open for birth, often leading to instability in the normally strong joints. Instability in the sacroiliac joints can be aggravated by poor postural habits, such as routinely standing on one leg, crossing the legs, or holding a baby or toddler on one hip. Sitting for long periods of time can also cause the sacrum to be dislodged. SI joint discomfort is commonly experienced as a niggling discomfort or pain in one side of the lower back, sometimes radiating around to the pubic symphysis.

Here are some tips to prevent or alleviate sacroiliac joint discomfort:

AVOID habitually standing on one leg, or holding your baby or toddler on one hip. Our daily habits, repeated over and over again, can contribute to either pain or pain relief, depending on how we do them.

• DO practice Tadasana or Mountain pose when standing in lines, at the kitchen sink, brushing your teeth, etc.
• DO practice cat/cow poses to help to mobilize the joints and help bring them back into balance.
• DO use a birth ball to sit at your desk, with both feet on the floor.
• DO take frequent breaks from sitting and practice.

The Yoga Pose of the Month is also helpful for sciatic joint discomfort. If pain continues for more than several days, or begins to interfere with your daily activities, consult your care providers. You may benefit from physical therapy or chiropractic to prevent the situation from becoming worse. Visit our Resources page for healthcare professionals who specialize in treating pelvic pain issues during pregnancy.

Send in your questions to info@ommama.com and we will try to answer them in the next newsletter.

Featured Community Service Organization: Childsavers.org

Every day, children in Central Virginia witness or are victims of acts of violence and need professional assistance to help them cope with the resulting trauma. Every day, children in Central Virginia need professional therapy to help them resolve the psychological and emotional problems that adversely affect their academic performance, social development, and overall happiness. Every day, child care providers in Central Virginia need high-quality training and support programs to help them give the children in their care the best possible start in life.

ChildSavers, founded in 1924, exists to help meet these needs. Our organization’s mission is to provide comprehensive mental health and childhood development services that holistically embrace the needs of children and those who care for and educate them. Our three primary program areas are:

ChildSAVE: We provide immediate therapeutic mental health response to children who have been present at the scenes of violent events. Our trained clinicians are on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and usually arrive to work with the affected child or children within 30 minutes after receiving the call.

Since the program's inception in November 2004, we have worked with more than 650 children.

Clinical Services: We provide outpatient mental health and psychiatric services to children aged two to seventeen, regardless of their families' ability to pay. Most of our clients come from low-income families and live in high-crime neighborhoods.

During our 2005 - 06 program year, our Clinical Department staff worked with 475 children through more than 4.000 therapy sessions.

Education & Training (E&T) Services: The first few years of a child's life are critical to his development and future success. We provide a broad range of training and support services to those who care for and educate pre-school children.

During our 2005/06 program year, our E&T staff held 70 training sessions for 1,238 child care providers/early childhood educators; helped an average of 140 providers offer nutritious meals and snacks to the estimated 1,200 children in their care; and completed 462 referrals for parents seeking quality child care.

For further information about ChildSavers and how you can help please visit our website at www.childsavers.org or contact Lynn McCashin, Director of Development and Community Affairs 644-9590 ext. 3006.

Prenatal & Postnatal Resources

OmMama’s website features one of the best compilation of local and national resources for expecting and new families. Click here to view our online resource list.

Do you provide a service or business of interest to childbearing families in the Richmond Metropolitan area that you would like to list here? Please email info@ommama.com for information about our listing guidelines.