Dear Friends,

Spring has officially sprung in Virginia. It’s one of Richmond’s finest seasons, with new life and color popping everywhere. I love both the warm, sunny days of this season and the chilly, rainy ones we’ve had recently: both so necessary for growth.

We’ve had a lot of growth around the prenatal classes. Last Thursday we had six women in one class within three weeks of their due time, pulsing with the excitement of the journey before them! Our students have also been expanding outside the classroom: this past Saturday, five of our pregnant or postpartum moms walked or ran in the Monument Avenue 10K, cheered on by another almost due mom who mindfully walked a little less because she was listening to body’s needs. It was so inspiring to be in the company of such vibrant women. Stay tuned later this summer as we launch another Healthy Mamas Training Team for the Richmond Suntrust 8K.

We’re just now starting to look at the results of our Curriculum Development Survey, but one of the recurring themes we’ve noticed is the need for more postpartum support and information. So this month, our Prenatal Article by Elizabeth Pantley outlines strategies for coping with The Baby Blues. Whether or not you end up experiencing “the blues,” I think you’ll find her suggestions helpful for preparing for the ups and downs of the early postpartum period.

With warm weather many of you will be traveling with your little ones, so our Postnatal article offers strategies to make visiting with your baby easier.

The Yoga Tip of the Month focuses on breathing techniques to enhance labor and life. Finally, check out the Featured Community Service Organization for an announcement regarding a newly formed Richmond Chapter of Birth Matters Virginia.

Wishing you a lovely, loving spring full of promises fulfilled.

Namaste,

Leslie

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Recent Arrivals!

Congratulations to:

• Jodi V and son Finnian Joseph, February 14, 2008
• Samantha T and son Hudson Orion, February 25, 2008
• Missy W and sons Harrison Nathaniel and August Richard, March 2, 2008
  

Submit your birth announcements and stories on ommama.com!

What's New

• Sign up now for Conscious Birthing: A Workshop for Couples, May 17.
• Itsy Bitsy Yoga for Newborns, Infants, and Tots. New 5-week series start April 9 and 10. Deadline for joining the classes is April 17th. Partial scholarships are available for those with financial need.
• Elise Miller: Yoga for Backcare April 25 -26.
• Baby and Me Yoga, Thursdays 10:30 – 11:45 am Drop-ins welcome!

Birth Story

Hudson Orion T

Friday, Feb. 22, 2008
I just knew Hudson would be born on 2/22, and that morning something was definitely going on. I was having abdominal cramps and shooting pains down my legs - not what contractions are supposed to feel like - there were no obvious beginnings and ends . . .

Read Full Birth Story

Prenatal Article

The Baby Blues
By Elizabeth Pantley, author of Gentle Baby Care

I remember when I was lying in my hospital bed after the birth of my fourth child, Coleton. I had endured a full day of labor and a difficult delivery (who says the fourth one comes easily?), and I was tired beyond explanation. After the relief of seeing my precious new child came an uncontrollable feeling to close my eyes and sleep. As my husband cradled newborn Coleton, I drifted off; my parting thoughts were, “I can’t do this. I don’t have the energy. How will I ever take care of a baby?” Luckily for me, a few hours of sleep, a supportive family, and lucky genes were all it took to feel normal again. But as many as 80% of new mothers experience a case of the baby blues that lasts for weeks after the birth of their baby. This isn’t something new mothers can control — there’s no place for blame. The most wonderful and committed mothers, even experienced mothers of more than one child, can get the baby blues.

What are baby blues?
Your baby’s birth has set into motion great changes in your body and in your life, and your emotions are reacting in a normal way. Dramatic hormonal shifts occur when a body goes from pregnant to not pregnant in a manner of minutes. Add to this your new title (Mommy!) and the responsibilities that go with it, and your blues are perfectly understandable. You’re not alone; this emotional letdown during the first few weeks is common after birth. Just remember that your state of mind has a physical origin and is exacerbated by challenging circumstances — and you and your body will adjust to both soon.

How do I know if I have the baby blues?
Every woman who experiences the baby blues (also called postpartum blues) does so in a different way. The most common symptoms include:

• Anxiety and nervousness
• Sadness or feelings of loss
• Stress and tension
• Impatience or a short temper
• Bouts of crying or tearfulness
• Mood swings
• Difficulty concentrating
• Trouble sleeping or excessive tiredness
• Not wanting to get dressed, go out, or clean up the house

Could it be more than just the baby blues?
If you’re not sure whether you have the blues ask your doctor or midwife, and don’t feel embarrassed: This is a question that health care providers hear often and with good reason. If you’re feeling these symptoms to a degree that disrupts your normal level of function, if your baby is more than a few weeks old, or if you have additional symptoms — particularly feelings of resentment or rejection toward your baby or even a temptation to harm him — you may have more than the blues, you may have postpartum depression. This is a serious illness that requires immediate treatment. Please call a doctor or professional today. If you can’t make the call, then please talk to your partner, your mother or father, a sibling or friend and ask them to arrange for help. Do this for yourself and for your baby. If you can’t talk about it, hand this page it to someone close to you. It’s that important. You do not have to feel this way, and safe treatment is available, even if you’re breastfeeding.

How can I get rid of the blues?
While typical baby blues are fairly brief and usually disappear on their own, you can do a few things to help yourself feel better and get through the next few emotional days or weeks:

Give yourself time. Grant yourself permission to take the time you need to become a mother. Pregnancy lasts nine months, the adoption process can take even longer, and your baby’s actual birth is only a moment — but becoming a mother takes time. Motherhood is an immense responsibility. In my opinion, it is the most overwhelming, meaningful, incredible, transforming experience of a lifetime. No wonder it produces such emotional and physical change!

No other event of this magnitude would ever be taken lightly, so don’t feel guilty for treating this time in your life as the very big deal it is. Remind yourself that it’s okay (and necessary) to focus on this new aspect of your life and make it your number-one priority. Tending to a newborn properly takes time — all the time in his world. So, instead of feeling guilty or conflicted about your new focus, put your heart into getting to know this new little person. The world can wait for a few weeks.

Consider as objectively as you can just what you have accomplished: You have formed a new, entire person inside your own body and brought him forth; you have been party to a miracle. Or, if you've adopted, you've chosen to invite a miracle into your life and became an instant mother. You deserve a break and some space in which to just exist with your amazing little one, unfettered by outside concerns.

Talk to someone who understands. Talk to a sibling, relative or friend with young children about what you are feeling. Someone who has experienced the baby blues can help you realize that they are temporary, and everything will be fine. A confidante can also serve as a checkpoint who can encourage you to seek help if he or she perceives that you need it.

Reach out and get out. Simply getting out (if you are physically able and okayed for this by your health care provider) and connecting with people at large can go a long way toward reorienting your perspective. Four walls can close in very quickly, so change the scenery and head to the mall, the park, the library, a coffeehouse — whatever place you enjoy. You’ll feel a sense of pride as strangers ooh and ahh over your little one, and your baby will enjoy the stimulation, too.

Join a support group. Joining a support group, either in person or online, can help you sort through your feelings about new motherhood. Take care to choose a group that aligns with your core beliefs about parenting a baby. As an example, if you are committed to breastfeeding, but most other members of the group are bottlefeeding, this may not be the best place for you, since your breastfeeding issues won’t be understood and you won’t find many helpful ideas among this group. If you have multiples, a premature baby, or a baby with special needs, for example, seek out a group for parents with babies like yours. And within those parameters, look for a group with your same overall parenting beliefs. Just because you all have twin babies doesn’t mean you will all choose to parent them in the same way, so try to find like-minded new friends.

Tell Daddy what he can do to help. It’s very important that your spouse or partner be there for you right now. He may want to help you, but he may be unsure of how. Here are a few things that he can do for you — show him this list to help him help you:

• Understand. It’s critical that your spouse or partner feel that you understand that she is going through a hormonally driven depression that she cannot control — and that she is not “just being grumpy.” Tell her you know this is normal, and that she’ll be feeling better soon. Simply looking over this list and using some of the ideas will tell her a lot about your commitment to (and belief in) her.
• Let her talk about her feelings. Knowing she can talk to you about her feelings without being judged or criticized will help her feel much better.
• Tend to the baby. Taking care of your baby so Mommy can sleep or take a shower can give her a breath of fresh air. Have her nurse the baby and then you can take him for a walk (using a sling will keep Baby happy) or go on an outing. A benefit for you is that most babies love to be out and about and will enjoy this special time with you.
• Step in to protect her. If she’s overwhelmed with visitors, kindly explain to company that she needs a lot of rest. Help her with whatever household duties usually fall to her (or get someone to help her) and do what you can to stay on top of yours. Worry about the house’s cleanliness or laundry upkeep will do her no good whatsoever. If relatives offer to take the baby for a few hours, or to help with the house, take them up on it.
• Tell her she’s beautiful. Most woman feel depressed about the way they look after childbirth — because most still look four months pregnant! After changing so greatly to accommodate a baby’s development, a woman’s body takes months to regain any semblance of normalcy. Be patient with both her body and her feelings about it. Tell her what an amazing thing she’s accomplished. Any compliments that acknowledge her unique beauty are sure to be greatly appreciated!
• Tell her you love the baby. Don’t be bashful about gushing over the baby. Mommy loves to hear that you’re enraptured with this new little member of your family.
• Be affectionate, but be patient about sex. With all that she’s struggling with physically and emotionally, weeks may pass before she’s ready for sex (even if she’s had an OK after her checkup.) That doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you or need you — she just needs a little time to get back to the physical aspects of your sexual relationship.
• Tell her you love her. Even when she isn’t feeling down, she needs to hear this — and right now it’s more important for her health and well-being than ever.
• Get support for you, too. Becoming a father is a giant step in your life. Open up to a friend about how it feels to be a Dad, and do things that you enjoy, too. Taking care of yourself will help you take care of your new family.
  

Accept help from others. Family and friends are often happy to help if you just ask. When people say, “Let me know if I can do anything” they usually mean it. So, go ahead and ask kindly for what you want, whether it’s watching your baby so that you can nap, taking your older child to the park, helping you make a meal, or doing some laundry.

Get some sleep. Right now, sleeplessness will enhance your feelings of depression. So, take every opportunity to get some shuteye. Nap when the baby sleeps, go to bed early, and sleep in later in the morning if you can. If you are co-sleeping, take advantage of this special time when you don’t have to get up out of bed to tend to your baby. And if your baby’s sleep patterns are distressing to you then reach out to an experienced parent for help, or check out my book The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night.

Don’t fret about perfection right now. Household duties are not your top priority now — in fact, nothing aside from getting to know your baby is. Remember that people are coming to see your baby, not your house, so enjoy sharing your baby with visitors without worrying about a little clutter or dust. Simplify, prioritize, and delegate routine tasks, errands, and obligations.

Enjoy your job. If you work outside the home, then view your time at your job as an opportunity to refresh and prepare yourself to enjoy your baby fully when you are at home. Go ahead — talk about your baby and share pictures with your co-workers. Chances are, they’ll love to hear about your new little one. This is a nice and appropriate way of indulging your natural instincts to focus on your baby when you can’t be with her.

Get into exercising. With your health care provider’s approval, start exercising with short walks or swims. Exercise will help you feel better in many ways both physical and emotional. Even if you didn’t exercise before you had your baby, this is a great time to start. Studies prove that regular exercise helps combat depression, and it will help you regain your pre-baby body much more quickly.

Eat healthful foods. When the body isn’t properly nourished, spirits can flag — particularly when the stress of recovery makes more nutritional demands. If you are breastfeeding, a nourishing diet is important for both you and your baby. Healthful foods, eaten in frequent meals, can provide the nutrition you need to combat the baby blues and give you the energy you need to handle your new role. And don’t forget to drink water and other healthy fluids, especially if you’re nursing! Dehydration can cause fatigue and headaches.

Take care of yourself. Parenting a new baby is an enormous responsibility, but things will fall into place for you and everything will seem easier given time. During this adjustment phase, try to do a few things for yourself. Simple joys like reading a book, painting your nails, going out to lunch with a friend or other ways in which you nourish your spirit can help you feel happier.

Love yourself. You are amazing: You’ve become mother to a beautiful new baby. You’ve played a starring role in the production of an incredible miracle. Be proud of what you’ve accomplished, and take the time to know and enjoy the strong, capable, multifaceted person you are becoming.

This article is a copyrighted excerpt from Gentle Baby Care by Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)

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Postnatal Article

Going Visiting With Your Baby
By Elizabeth Pantley, Author of Gentle Baby Care

Babies love new places! There’s so much to investigate and new things to touch. But many people aren’t too happy to have your little one crawling or toddling freely about the house exploring everything in sight. While you think its adorable that Baby found the Tupperware, your host may not think it’s cute that her tidy cabinet has been rearranged by sticky baby hands. If your host has a big heart she’ll let you know that your baby’s exploring is okay. But even then, you run the risk of your baby breaking or losing something.

Bring toys!
The best thing you can do is bring along a bag of toys to seize your child’s attention. You can purchase new items, or dig through your baby’s toy box to put together a collection of forgotten favorites. Avoid bringing loud toys that may annoy others, and bring toys that will hold your baby’s attention for a long time.

Bring your own supplies
Think about things that keep your baby happy at home or in the car, and bring these with you, such as your sling, a favorite blanket, a Boppy pillow, or a special lovey. If you are prepared, then your baby will be more content.

Safety issues
Visits with a mobile baby are tricky, especially if you’re at a home that isn’t childproof. If you want to avoid physically shadowing your baby around the house, bring a few safety tools, such as outlet plugs and a folding baby gate to section off stairways. When you arrive, assess the area and ask if chemicals, medications, or fragile vases can be put away during your visit. Remember that you’re certain to miss some hazards, so keep a close eye on Baby during your entire visit.

Food and eating
Whether your baby is new to solid food or has been eating it for a while, bring along a few favorites. If you don’t bring snacks with you, your baby may not touch the dinner that’s served and may cry for her favorite crackers. In any case, don’t feel you must push your baby to try something new to the point of a temper tantrum. Politely requesting something simple like toast or cheese is perfectly okay and will be welcomed more than a loud and tense test of parent/child wills.

What if you’re breastfeeding and your baby is hungry?
Do what comes naturally: Feed him! Breastfeeding is the most natural way to feed a baby. If your hosts aren’t used to seeing a mother breastfeed, then you’re doing our world a favor by introducing one more person to the beauty of baby feeding. Be thoughtful about other’s sensitivities. This doesn’t mean you need to hide, but your efforts to be discreet are a courtesy for those around you and may help others feel more comfortable about seeing you breastfeeding your baby. Using a sling, blanket or nursing shirt are easy ways to accomplish this.

Changing Diapers
Bring a changing pad; this will protect the surface you’re using. If you don’t have a pad, ask for a towel. Ask where your host prefers that you change the baby, or suggest a location: “Do you mind if I lay the towel on your bed to change the baby?”

Bring along (or ask to use) plastic bags to store messy diapers. Make sure that they are sealed so that they don’t create odors. If you use disposables, put used diapers in a sealed bag and offer to take them out to the trash. People don’t like stinky diapers in their bathroom trash.

Sleeping and napping
If your little one sleeps in a cradle or crib you may want to bring along a portable crib. If you don’t have one, or if you co-sleep at home, this is a time when “anything goes.” If your baby will sleep in your arms, then go ahead and enjoy an in-arms nap. If your baby is flexible, put a blanket on the floor and set up a sleeping nest. Don’t leave Baby alone, since the area probably isn’t childproof.

A great nap solution is to bring your car seat into the house and strap your baby in securely, or fashion a bed from a large box or an empty dresser drawer. Keep your baby close by or check on her frequently.

For co-sleepers, your first order of business is to create a safe sleeping place. Inspect the furniture placement in the bedroom. If you know that pushing the bed against the wall would make the situation safer for your baby, then politely explain to your host. Let her know that you’ll move it back before you leave (and then remember to do so).

Be prepared for anything
Life with a baby is filled with surprises. Take a deep breath, and do your best to keep your baby content....and if things don’t go as well as you’d hoped, remind yourself that “This too shall pass.”

Show your appreciation
If you’ve had an overnight stay, if your host is helpful, or if you made special requests during your stay, remember to send a thank you note that expresses your appreciation.

This article is an excerpt from Gentle Baby Care by Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)

Featured Community Service Organization

Birth Matters Virginia

Greetings Richmond Community!

I am thrilled to announce that Richmond now has a chapter of the State-wide organization Birth Matters Virginia! www.birthmattersva.org. I hope that you will share in my excitement with the fact that our local voices will now have the strength of the entire State behind us.

Women in communities around Virginia have been coming together for many years to promote an evidence-based model of care and help consumers make educated, informed decisions about the care they require. By combining our strength and resources, this consumer-led, membership-based organization will transform our voices into THE voices that will be heard.

One of the first projects our chapter will be assisting with is the Birth Matters VA Seventh Annual Awards Dinner and Fundraiser to be held Sunday, August 10th here in Richmond. Last year's dinner was also in Richmond and local CNM Nancy Giglio was honored for her work in our community.

Our chapter website is under construction, but the main page as well as other chapter sites, are full of information. I encourage you to check them out and consider becoming a member yourself. Your support is critical to our mission and will be very much appreciated.

All the best~
Jennifer Dyson
Director, Birth Matters Virginia
Richmond Chapter
jcdyson3@msn.com

Prenatal & Postnatal Resources

OmMama’s website features one of the best compilation of local and national resources for expecting and new families. Click here to view our online resource list.

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