After keeping me guessing and waiting for more than a week after she was due, Lucy was born in a hurry. Although both of my previous pregnancies lasted past 40 weeks, somehow I got it in my mind that this baby would come earlier. When I had my last visit with my midwife, Nancy, on Tuesday, I was thrilled to hear that I was already four cm dilated, and very much ready. She sent me home with high hopes, and I began having contractions as soon as I left. They dwindled after I went to bed, though, and the next day nothing was happening. We discussed whether we should use the "drink" to get labor started, and I was wavering- one minute I'd think, "let's go," and the next I'd be reluctant. I did not want to try to control the birth- I just wanted things to happen as they should. It took a good amount of deliberation, and finally it was clear to me that we should go for it. In hindsight, we all agreed that it was a good thing, since Lucy came so quickly.
After I finished the "the drink," I followed my midwife's directions and immediately went to lie down and rest for an hour. After an hour, I woke, refreshed, and waited for the contractions to begin. Then they started, slowly, and I called my midwife to tell her. She sent me out to have a brisk, twenty-minute walk to get things moving. My husband, David, came out with me, and the kids came out, too. (David said later that he still didn't believe I was starting to labor at this point- he was thinking about what he was having for dinner, not having a baby!) At first, I walked ahead, and then my daughter Zora wanted to walk with me and hold hands. That was okay for a contraction or two, and then I was withdrawing into the labor. Thankfully, the children disappeared for dessert with my mom. David told her, "Give them some ice cream! Lots of ice cream!" When I came inside after that twenty-minute walk, labor was in full swing, and I was done being conversational. I went into the birthing space (the guest room), and it was on!
It seems like as soon as I was in the room, it was fast and furious. I was bending over with my face buried in the pillows at the foot of the bed, and making a low, moaning sound that turned into a song or chant of sorts. I was conscious of needing to keep the tone low (for two reasons- with my second birth I mooed like a cow and my throat was sore afterward, and also, the kids were in the house and might hear me). I was sweating up a storm. I had David rubbing my bottom during the contractions, then as soon as each contraction would ease, he would try to finish the preparations. The first priority turned out to be putting down the shower curtain underneath me, which was handy when my water broke. He somehow managed to fill the birth tub and lay down the sheets and get almost everything down in short bursts between contractions. If he had any panic, he kept it out of his voice when he called to see if the midwife was on her way. Poor guy, every time he tried to leave my backside to get anything done, I'd say, "don't leave me!!" When Nancy did come into the house, I felt relieved, but probably not as relieved as David! I couldn't get into the tub immediately, though, because the water wasn't warm enough. As they continued to get things all arranged, I continued to be in that faraway place where my body was much stronger than my brain.
Then, finally, Nancy said, "If you want to get into the tub, you have to do it now, because the baby is coming now!" I waddled over to the tub and just stood there- I couldn't figure out how to get into the tub. Somehow I managed to climb into the water, and the relief was amazing. The water totally made it possible for me to be more fully conscious of what was happening. It was like I could actually feel what was going on with my body.
When I realized how close we were to having a baby, I shouted for my mom to come in with the kids. We had prepared them for what the birth would sound like and look like, so they seemed okay with all of it. The water made it possible for me to actually smile at my children as they came in. I didn't want them to worry; I wanted them to feel important to be present at their sibling's birth. The were all eyes, looking around, and my mom was holding my son, Sam.
I could feel the baby crowning, but I thought the baby's head was all the way out when really it was just starting. Nancy got my attention and told me that I needed to push. My body had been pushing, but I hadn't been consciously doing anything - I think I was starting to relax a little because of the water. So, it was maybe two pushes, and then there was a baby in my arms. She had kept her little hand right up next to her face, which made her exit a bit harder. I was thrilled to have another daughter. Zora got to help cut the cord. After the placenta came, I got out of the tub and into the bed, and Lucy had her first meal.
Because of how intense and fast it all was, I was shaking. From start to finish, the labor was less than 90 minutes. From the time that my water broke until delivery, it was only 35 minutes. I think David and I were both a little bit in shock because we just didn't expect it to all go so very quickly.
Conceiving, expecting and giving birth to my children has been the main focus for the last five years. The joy of discovering we were going to have a baby, seeing my body's changes and feeling the baby grow, the long learning process about giving birth and then the actual births themselves have been beyond fascinating. I am very sad to see this stage end. I have loved it. In so many ways I feel like I was just starting to understand the journey, and I don't want it to be over. We are so thankful for all of the many people who have encouraged us, guided and taught us, and celebrated with us as we have started out on this terrific adventure. I am especially grateful for Nancy, my midwife, whose gentle nurturing and vast wisdom have allowed so many women to discover their strength. Thanks to Leslie at OmMama, too, who instructed me in prenatal yoga during all three pregnancies- what a lovely introduction to yoga!
My first baby was born via Cesarean after an induction and attempting to deliver naturally but having some pain relief medicines and later an epidural. My second was born in the hospital, a vaginal birth after Cesarean (VBAC). And my third baby was born at home in the water. After having nearly the full range of experience of birth options, if I could offer any advice to expectant moms, it would be this- if you are having a normal, low-risk, healthy pregnancy, consider using a midwife for a homebirth. Not everyone is able, but if you are, you certainly will enjoy the experience. Instead of having to give birth by someone else's timeline or guidelines, you do as your body and your baby instruct, on that timetable, the way millions have been doing it since the beginning of time. You will be amazed at your body's strength and power, and you'll never be the same. Of course, no one who gives birth, no matter what, could ever be the same! Good luck to all of you mamas out there waiting for your time- it will come, and soon!